My heart is so heavy with the thought of Jada graduating Kindergarten. There is no ceremony, per say, but just knowing that my baby girl is growing SO quickly is so hard for me to handle. It hurts my heart. I'm thrilled that she has and continues to meet all her milestones, and is very advanced, but time is moving too quickly. I want my girls to stay babies, needing their Mommy and wanting to do nothing but be with their Mommy. I know it's being selfish, but I cannot help it. It's just such a bittersweet situation.
We have reached the point where when we get home, Jada is breaking her neck to get out of the car to go get her little neighbor friend, and spends the entire evening playing with her. I'm not saying I don't want her to have fun and play, but her interest in hanging out with her Mommy and snuggling is passing, which breaks my heart. She was the center of my life for nearly 5 years prior to Kenya, and now I have two little souls that carry my heart, it's just hard to watch her spreading her wings.....without me.
And dear Kenya....her vocabulary has jumped leaps and bounds. It seems nearly every word that my mouth utters, my little Pete is repeating! She is just a little sponge with plenty of room to absorb! She is amazing to watch develop, as was Jada , children are just miraculous little creatures!
And the dear fiance, yeah, he and I are NOT seeing eye to eye at this moment. He determined, on his own, he would purchase another toy for himself. So, he is now the proud owner of a 1981 Honda motorcycle! He had sold the one he had a couple years ago, that tons of money went into, and now he's got another one. I'm ready to pull my hair out. My irritation isn't necessarily because he bought the bike, but how dangerous they are. I know that he will be itching to be out on it, and unfortunately, I do nothing but worry while he's out riding. And he, unfortunately, does not take my concern into account, and he doesn't call regularly to ease my worries. It will be just yet another reason to be anxious!!!!
And I'm determined to close another chapter in this book of my life...smoking. This is going to be a battle for me, as I use it as a stress reliever, but when your 6 year old daughter asks daily when you're going to quit smoking, it's now not only for me, but for my girls. So, after today, I'm done. Brad had joined this fight as well, together, I hope we are able to be each others crutch and support!
We shall see how I'm doing first thing tomorrow morning! I have faith in myself and will muster every bit of self control I need.....
No comments:
Post a Comment